So I was looking up hashtags of a venue and band to find pictures I might be in from and amazing show I went to. All I ended finding were pictures of one of my favorite writers and musicians performing on stage and this guy I used to be in love with just below him in the pit. I’d die for a picture with either of these boys and there have to be near 100 of them together. It’s so ironic it hurts. #sayanything #fuckme
I’m ruining myself trying to forget everyone that ever made me smile because remembering them and missing them somehow just feels more difficult than pretending that they never existed.
They ask why I’m always sick. You see, it’s half anxiety and half low self-esteem. I leave scratches in my skin to help myself breath. I throw up my meals until it sends me to sleep.
My anxiety has recently been ruining my value of life. I need to stop shaking. I need to stop throwing up. I need to stop hearing things. I need to be happy. Why is that so difficult for me?
With only you would I watch horror movies because I would only fear that you may let go.